I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
