how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
