So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
