I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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