We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
