I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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