You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
