school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
it glows. i had to have it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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