Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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