i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
