He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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