did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
