Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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