i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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