Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize