That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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