How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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