wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
