the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
