I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
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it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
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so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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