Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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