Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
