careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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