I didn't shave. On purpose
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I wear drunk well.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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