Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize