Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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