Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
