Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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