i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
