This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
