Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
