End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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