somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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