he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize