is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
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Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
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there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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