im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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