let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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