i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
