so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
