hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I need a burrito and a hug.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
