I faked an abortion last night.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
