i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
