Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
