Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.