i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.