WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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