So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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