I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
