I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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