I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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