She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
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i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
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for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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