Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
