My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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