I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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