i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
