i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
