Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
