I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
