when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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