Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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