I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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