So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
